STRESS !

Normal eye (light)

what my kinda looks like (dark)

Okay, here goes. I found out yesterday when I am to go in for my eye surgery. Aug.28 9am.
they inject into the back of the eye an un-approved off label drug (used in the USA to treat advanced colon cancer) AVASTIN. The drug they use is a smaller moleculed version of this drug (LUCENTIS) it has a lot of side effects....they faxed me a consent form listing all the side effects that were found when given intravenously for cancer treatment. They said not to worry because the shot they give is contained in the eye only. huh...

IT WAS FIVE PAGES LONG !!!!!

Basically it boils down to this: It works for some and not for others and Oh by the way, it may cause bowel perforations or stroke and at the least cause total blindness if you have an allergic reaction to the drug. If you get infection from the speculum used to hold your eye open during surgery or the insertion of the three needles or cataracts grow from the use of the lazer through your pupil don't worry...we have a surgery for that. hahahahaha....good grief.

this is kinda what my eye looks like compared to a normal eye if you could see from the inside out.

So, as you might guess I am a bit concerned about how things might turn out. I haven't had such great luck so far with the things they are doing to me. Allergic reactions to all the shots and tests is making it hard to keep an open mind. I am feeling pretty stressed and have a bad headache today. I am turning into a hypochondriac.

Besides all my own worries..Robert's sister in law called me yesterday to talk she was feeling down,(understandably) and began crying over the phone and asking me if I would be a grandmother to her many grandchildren, cause they weren't going to have one in a while. Geez....what do you say to that....I barely know her gr.kids I'm not sure how many she even has. Over a dozen I think. I hope I had her feeling better by the time she hung up. Poor Dorothy. I can't imagine how she feels, when I try, all the protective barries fly up and say you don't even want to go there. I get that lump in my throat and my heart gets tight. Damn.

I thought I was taking my sons girlfriend for her last post-termination check-up but lucky me I get to take her again next week. We were together all yesterday morning and then she came over again in the afternoon to visit.....That will teach me for being too comforting. I guess we are best friends now or something....when she was filling out a form for the doctors office(she is a new patient at that clinic) she asked me if I wanted to be her next of kin. What could one say....I said, I guessed but I think it should be Rob. I think she put my son Rob down.....shewwwwwww....dodged that bullet. She is nice enough but very niave and has no life experience what so ever. scarry.....really scarry.

I am busy today trying to unravel a genealogical mystery. I have found two women who are both saying they are the mothers of some of roberts ancestors.....what a puzzle. Canadian records are very hard to come by....with the 99 year privacy law....anything more recent than that you are out of luck....which would appear to be the case here.

I need someone to look up in Vancouver library....an obituary for Roberts grandmother...ADELAIDE (ADA) ASH born in about 1882 in England died , I think, on Sept 19 1928, but the death date could be wrong. Husband's name Thomas C. Makepeace, three sons. Fathers name was Arthur A. Ash How about it, any volunteers.

Oh well back to the grindstone.