Oh Wait ! Now I Remember

So it might be time for a little truth telling.

Straight up, no bullshit, no lies, no waffling.

Do you want to know the reason I give the impression of being a cold, disinterested bitch. The reason is for exactly this reason...

I thought I would be a nice mother of the boyfriend in law....right. You all remember me saying I had to go to town for a hair appointment anyway so I volunteered to grab a preg test while there....Okay, and I was fine with that...

Not so much now. Now I want to rip my lips off, pour hot wax down my throat and seal it off forever, what ever it takes to keep me from getting myself into this shit.

Alright I'll just spit it out. I apparently have now been elected to take the girl to the walk in clinic for an appointment with a doctor, then if I wouldn't mind taking her to the Termination clinic in edmonton , well that would be just super. She would feel so much better with some female support and since I appeared so sympathetic, I guess I'm it. Where the hell is this girls mother ? Oh ya, she's at home with her other 6 children (all from different fathers) that she didn't have the balls to terminate and raised (and this is still open to debate) and turned to crack as a crutch.

Don't get me wrong, I like this girl, she's quiet, she works, she reads and writes, oh she has her moods sometimes but I don't have to live with her. I just didn't want to be this involved. I figure it's between her and my son.

I WANT TO BE SWITZERLAND. Neutral.

So cut my tongue out and feed it to the crows, I've gone and done it again, big mouth know it all gets just what she deserves, TROUBLE.

It's back to being an unfeeling, uncaring bitch for me. That's the way I like it. I don't bother them, they (hopefully) won't bother me.

Of course the really sad thing about all this is, the very reason I did not want to be so involved is that I have fairly strong feelings about babies and death and stuff and there was a time in my life (until just recently) that I would have sold my soul to have another child, I would have told her to have it and give it to me. But I have lately come to know that I am now a crusty, bitchy, selfcentered old lady and just don't want to be bothered. hahahaha

But, oh if I were ten years younger......