Well after waiting two and one half hours after the time of my appointment with the retinal specialist in Edmonton on Monday...he was in the room for all of 5 minutes and then was gone.

Unfortunately in those 5 minutes he sent my world reeling. Robert was there for moral support and he was more upset than I was, asking all kinds of questions and Why? , kept popping up. They don't know why. It just happened.

The vein draining the blood from the back of the eye plugged (usually caused by hardening of the arteries in senoirs) and so the blood, being fed from the arteries that supply blood to the eye, spilled over into tiny veins not equipped to handle the pressure and they hemorraged. Quite severely we were told. I have less than 10% vision in that eye now .....so on July 21 they will send me to the hospital in Edmonton for two sets of retinal pictures (very high tech ones apparrently) to determine the thickness of the retina. Once they have that info...I will go back to the hospital another day for an injection into the eye with some med. to take down some of the swelling. 4 weeks after that I will go back to hosp. again for eye surgery. With a lazer they will try to cauterize some of the hemorraging veins. There is a slim chance of infection from the needle in the eye and then concerning the surgery later , he said that 65% of patients who undergo this surgery see some kind of improvement in vision , some get only fractionally better other a bit more. They would hope for a 50% return of vision. but ......... they have not seen any marked improvement when the bleeding was this severe. So basically, go through all this hell and the best we can give you is it won't get worse.

My medical doctor says I may have to resign myself to being blind in that eye. My big worry is....that since we don't know why it happened in this eye...what is to stop it from happening in the other. I always thought if I had to lose one sense ..either hearing or sight...I would give up ever hearing music again rather than not being able to see. I am a very visual person. Beautiful things make my heart swell. Although I love music and the sound of waves hitting shore , bird song and the wind in the trees, I would much rather see my husbands face. So I worry and wonder.

I try to stay positive....I say, well at least they didnt tell you you're dying of cancer like Roberts sister in law. It helps put things in perspective....but when I'm alone...in my own little world...it is a big thing and I am scarred.