Jesus, Mary and Joseph !

Yesterday Robert and I headed into the city for a day of fun. My Valentine's he said. Awwwe. We were heading to the theatre but wanted to grab some lunch before we went. We were having supper later in the day at the Keg. Hmmmmmm... We hit the subway joint next to the cineplex. I have never had a good experience at Subway yet and this was no exception. I AM NEVER EATING AT SUBWAY AGAIN. EVER.

Robert always seems to enjoy his sandwiches, but something always seems to happen to keep me from doing the same. I like the whole healthy concept and always agree when he suggests going there but man.....never again. that's it, I surrender.

We walked in and the place smells nice, liked baking bread. makes sense. There are three very dark (black, black) skinned ladies (20's) behind the counter. They had the same accent that my father in laws doctor does so I assumed they were from Trinidad/Tobago. They sported the whole hair dregs and beads, facial peircings and the like. The older of the three spoke pretty good english and she was taking the orders and preparing the buns. She then passed us on to the second in line.....(for theatrical purposes, lets call her Satan) She never spoke so I don't know how good her english was but she did have problems hearing english....Anyway, I had ordered a Turkey breast sandwich on whole wheat. I told the girl I wanted lettuce, tomatoe, a few olives and a couple green peppers. Robert was right behind me ordering the veggie sandwich. He heard me order what I wanted on my bun. We go to sit down. I open my sandwich and take a big bite because at this point it is 12:45 and the movie stated at 1 pm. Thank You God, I didn't swallow.

I actually had only taken one chewing motion when I went into total shock. I grabbed Roberts napkin (mine was not handy) and promptly spit out my sandwich. It was too late though at that point. My lips, tongue and the roof of my mouth and both sets of gums were on fire and swelling, all I could do was sit blinking back the tears and staring at Robert, while fanning my flaming lips and grabbing for the bottle of coke with my other hand. A whole minute flew by when Robert looked over, while munching on his bland sub and asked, "are you alright?" I felt that if I had opened my mouth flames would have shot out.

I couldn't speak, my mouth and tongue were paralized. Truely. I am just so glad I never swallowed or they would have needed a ventilator to keep me breathing. He grabbed my sandwich and opened it. So there was turkey breast meat, lettuce, tomatoe, about six pieces of green pepper and what I thought when she was putting them on my sandwich were green olives. But were apparently HOT green halapeno peppers. Not an olive was to be seen in that sandwich. "Shit " he says. and scrapes the hot peppers and green peppers off the bun, closes it back up and hands it to me. I took a tiny nibble but it felt like I was chewing glass, my mouth was so sensitive. I handed the sub back to him and he shrugged his shoulders and took a bite. He did say that he could feel a bit of tingling on his lips just from the residue the hot peppers left on the lettuce. but he ate it anyway....
I would have complained to the ladies but I honestly could barely talk. My eyes were watering and my nose was running. We went to the movie and my lips burned the whole time. I ate a bit of popcorn but even that was not the pleasant experience I normally enjoy. By the end of the movie I had to go to the ladies room and while washing my hands I inspected my face. I had Angelina Jolie lips, no word of a lie. On the outside they were big and lush looking but inside they had blisters. Three on the bottom one and two on the top. My gums were still swollen as well and there is one spot on the back of my tongue that may never regain its sensitivity. Ever.
So we went to an afternoon matinee to see "Because I said so" (Diane Keaton) it was funny and oh so true.

We went to Costco afterwards and honestly I spent the whole hour we were in there walking around feeling like you do after having a filling at the dentist and the freezing is still in your lips hours afterwards.

I HAVE NEVER EATEN ANYTHING SO HOT IN ALL MY LIFE and never really wanted to. Who would voluntarily eat that shit. It could have burned a hole in your shorts if you had eaten it and farted.

I vowed last night to never eat subway again.

The meal at the Keg was great and luckily my mouth was calming down enough by then to let me enjoy it.

If someone from Trinidad is called a Trinidadian, what do they call a person from Tobago.... a Tobaggon, Tobaganian, Tobaganing...... Let me know if you know.